Kublai Khan - The Guilty Dog
Lonely am I, though I try to look otherwise. Laugh or smile; disguise or rather hide the insecurities I feed. You ask, why mask what is really going on with me? Why should you care?
And I remember thinking to myself, “God, if you’re up there, send me down someone who gives a fuck.” It’s hard living, it’s hard times in my mind. Doubt everything around me, yet I say I’m fine (You’re not fine). I tell myself I’m alright (You’re not right).
It’s insane the things I wish that I had felt, like the piercing sting of a father’s belt, because tough love is still love. Love’s tough, I know this much. But I’ll tell you right now motherfucks, life’s harder when you got none. And yet still I try.
They say the guilty dog barks first, well I’ve been barking til my fucking throat hurts. And I shout out all of these dealings in the hopes that somebody’s listening. 20 years I’ve tried to escape what makes me, me. Someone listen, that is all I’ve ever wanted for years.